Redback on the Toilet Seat

Hope you enjoy this famous Aussie Song by  Slim Newton

Title: “Redback (Spider) on the Toilet Seat”

Redback

There was a redback on the toilet seat,

When I was there last night.
I didn’t see him in the dark,
But boy I felt his bite.
I jumped up high into the air,
And when I hit the ground.
That crafty redback spider,
Wasn’t nowhere to be found.

I rushed into the mrs,
Told her just where I’d been bit.
And she grabbed my cutthroat razor,
And I nearly took a fit.
I said ‘Forget what’s on your mind,
And call a doctor please.
For I’ve got a feeling that your cure,
Is worse than the disease.’

There was a redback on the toilet seat,
When I was there last night.
I didn’t see him in the dark,
But boy I felt his bite.
And now I’m here in hospital,
A sad and sorry plight.
And I curse the redback spider,
On the toilet seat last night.

I can’t lie down, I cant’ sit up I don’t know what to do.
The nurses think it’s funny but that’s not my point of view.
I tell you it’s embarrassing and that’s to say the least,
For I’m too sick to eat a bite,
While the spider had a feast.

And when I get back home again, I’ll tell you what I’ll do.
I’ll make that Redback suffer for the pain I’m going through.
I’ve had so many needles, I’m looking like a siv.
I promise you that redback hasn’t very long to live.

There was a redback on the toilet seat,
When I was there last night.
I didn’t see him in the dark,
But boy I felt his bite.
And now I’m here in hospital,
A sad and sorry plight.
And I curse the redback spider,
On the toilet seat last night.

By Slim Newton
(I Loved hearing this Poem/Song recited to us as a child – thank you Dad)
Kerrie

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